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You should know that you are beautiful.
http://youaremyonly-one.tumblr.com/post/6266720808/can-someone-tell-me-why"
Answer:
Aww, thank you, Anon. <3
♥ / Sun Jun 12th, 2011 ≡ reblog
I need to sleep, I’ll respond in the morning ^^ check back if you left me a message.
♥ / Tue Jun 7th, 2011 ≡ reblog
Just wanted to make a quick post to those of you who left me asks before about my story:
I didn’t forget to answer, I just want to keep them in my ask. Thank you guys so much for responding, it meant the world to me.
And to answer the questions:
- I still live with my grandmother and my aunt, who are in the same house.
- I might be moving out alone soon… which scares me.
- I completely understand being mentally ill, as I have depression, but I could never imagine how it is to be stuck in your own head.. must be terrifying. Love goes out to you <3
- It kind of seems like my situation gets worse every week, but I guess I’m still managing. :)
- It’s not weird at all getting messaged about this stuff, thank you. <3
- I know cutting makes things worse, but I haven’t done it in over 2 weeks now. Maybe I can stop for even longer, but I’m getting close to a breaking edge now.
i love him. i love him so much, and he can't see it
it's not one of those things where he doesn't know i exist, or doesn't like me. we're friends. not extremely close. just friends. and i'm there for him, he's there for me.
but i can't stop looking at him. just seeing him breaks my heart. every time he laughs, smiles, talks, another piece of my dies, but at the same time, another ten pieces are fixed. but it hurts so much
and every second i'm not with him i die. i can't stop thinking about him, or remembering things he said.
he cuts himself. badly. worse than i do. and i would give anything to make him stop because he is worth so much more than me. i'm an atheist. a huge one. but i prayed for him last night. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, on everything i had. on my voice, on my friends, on my life-everything. i just want him to get better. because when he smiles, i smile, and i can't stand it when he's hurting
i was such a selfish bitch-i took all his help, everything, and didn't offer anything back. and it was almost too late
when i forced him to show me the scars-on skype-i was literally sick. i threw up. i started shaking. i tried so hard to stay strong for him, but every time i let him vent it just makes me feel worse. and i can't ask him to stop telling me what's wrong. it took me so long to get him to open up to me, and i have a weird feeling i'm one of the only ones he talks to
i can't fucking stop, and it hurts me so much. he just hurts. but i love him"
Answer:
That’s a really tough situation. I actually have had a similar experience though.
Maybe this thought never crossed your mind, but have you ever considered telling somebody who’s better able to help him (Counsellor, medical professional, parent, family member)? I know that sounds terrible, especially when you think you’re the only one he trusts, but sometimes (I’m not saying this is true for all self-harmers at all) when it’s that severe, worse feelings can come along with cutting.
Which is obviously very dangerous. I had to get help for a few of my really close friends, who also only trusted me. But I ended up saving their lives and getting them the help that they truly deserve, because nobody deserves to hurt, especially not to the point where they hurt themselves.
Just think about it. Another (really tough) option would be to tell him how you feel to his face. If he’s telling you this personal stuff he trusts you a large amount, and having him hear that somebody cares about him so much might give him his own motivation to feel better and possibly recover from whatever pain or hardships he has.
Loving somebody who hurts themselves is never easy. But just by letting them know how you feel and that you’re there can be enough.
Sweetie, as for you cutting yourself, I think it would make a big impact if you tried to stop yourself too. If you use him as your motivation to recover. Do it for him, to show him that you care.
<3 Good luck, and if you end up taking any of this advice to heart, take this the most importantly:
even if getting someone help sounds like the worst idea, it can save what’s important to you.
somebody got me help, and I had a bad infection (by accident) from cutting. It could’ve saved my life.
And if you end up using any of this, you should come back to my ask box some time and let me know how things turn out. I’d love to know :) or help in any way.
♥ / Tue Jun 7th, 2011 ≡ reblogDoing things for other people in general helps you feel good.
Or at least from what I’ve found. I’ve been watching a very sad anime (as nerdy as that is), and I cried for so long that I couldn’t anymore. But now, my own feelings of guilt and self-sympathy are a lot smaller.
♥ / Tue Jun 7th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
I tried to go to your ask, but it’s turned off.
Cutting isn’t a healthy way to deal with anything, but I understand how hard it is to find something else. I would recommend not cutting, because it’s something that you can overcome. It always brings down my mood in the long run.
<3 Don’t let other people bring you down, and maybe there’s a very important thing you’re missing. If people will be sad or disappointed that you do it, then they must care an awful lot about you, right?
<3 It’s okay, hun. Please be careful xx
♥ / Tue Jun 7th, 2011 ≡ reblog
